I am a rare statistic. I have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. I am one of the few women that do not fit the profile of a woman with PCOS. The long and short of this diagnosis is that you ovulate at weird times, if at all and your ovaries tend to create little pockets that turn into scar tissue making it extremely hard for an egg to implant. I was 23 years old when I found out I had it and when I was told I may never have children. I was 29 when I got married and a little nervous about any future having children with Ryan.

God is bigger than any diagnosis.

We decided after 5 months of marriage we would pull the plug on birth control methods and see what would happen. Could I ovulate, could we have a baby, what will this almost 30 year old body do?

Make a baby of course!

Yup…first month with our guard down the Lord saw it fit to bless our family with one of the most endearing, clever, smart, imaginative little girls we could have ever prayed for.

Chloe Grace…born November 4, 2006

and now…..a beauty beyond beauty.

Now I had a plan…a very good plan. Have two more children about three years apart. That way I could spend time with each child for a few years without interruption. I thought this was a good plan but the Lord had a better plan. He thought it would be better for us to open our hearts up to a passionate, energetic, hilarious, athletic, and compassionate little boy. Yes…while Chloe was just 9 months old I found out I was pregnant again. We had just celebrated our 2nd anniversary and now we are preparing for a second miracle to enter our lives and hearts and change us forever.

Bennett Wade…born May 3, 2008

and now…..pure stud. This boy has my heart on a string…yes he does.

Now before I go any further in our reproduction journey…haha…that sounds funny. Let me just share some insight into our marriage and business.

There are countless times in our little six year marriage that I thank the Lord on high that Ryan and I were friends for many years way before we crossed into Loversville. When push comes to shove…and let me tell you…we’ve been SHOVED….we have never lost the ability to laugh with one another. I think that has been the glue…that and heartfelt prayer. Anyone who has one child can tell you that the baby becomes the center of your time and attention. As a mother especially you are on duty 24-7. What little time, energy and affection you have at the end of the day you hold precious and dear and selfishly hold on to. It’s hard to ration it out to your spouse.

We started Kellan in March of 2006…the same month we found out about Chloe. The same month the realization that we would no longer have my teaching income after the fall. It was born out of a hobby of photography and a financial need. We had no idea what was going to come of it and I assure you…we never dreamed as big as what has fallen into our laps.

With any small business it requires a LOT. Type-A, business-minded Kelly snapped into gear to get us legally set up and run our customer service front while Ryan established our public front. Together we created what has evolved into our “signature” Kellan style. It sounds so simple when you type it out in one sentence. What you can’t see are the years and years of strain on our marriage. Ryan working full time, me a full time mom of two little ones working a full time job out of our home office. The year Bennett was born we shot 25 weddings and 20 personal sessions. YUP…..that’s almost half a years weekends out the door while breastfeeding. How did we do it?

Well we survived…we did not thrive.

What took the biggest hit was our marriage. We thought we wanted full time photography. We thought this is what the Lord was leading us to…after all we were starting to blow up…wasn’t that a sign. NOPE. That was just good business sense…but it wasn’t a fit for our family. We were growing so far apart after just three years of marriage. My partner, my best friend, my husband. We co-existed under one roof….laughter and prayer barely holding us together.

Then the final straw.

November 21, 2008….just six months after Bennett was born. I thought I was having the worst menstrual cycle of my life. For hours I writhed around on my bed in some of the worst pain of my life. I kept telling Ryan “I feel like I am in labor”. I won’t tell you the awfulness that came out of me. I can only thank the Lord for my utter ignorance of what was truly happening. I was miscarrying our third child. A child we didn’t even know existed. One that was conceived while we were shooting 25 weddings, raising and infant and toddler and barely holding on. A baby we will only ever know in the heavenlies. It was over before we even knew he existed. We named the baby Jory Lee “God will uplift and heal”.

It was at that point we knew what we needed to do. Trust the Lord with our finances and back off Kellan. Stop letting this business run us and start to run it! We cut back on our bookings, said no, changed our marketing strategy and got marriage counseling from our beloved pastor. I can only tell you that 2009 was a year of great healing for us. Ryan and I found one another again. God also blessed our SOCKS off by giving Ryan one of the coolest jobs on the planet. He became the full time commercial photographer for the prestigious leather company, Moore and Giles Inc. He gets to use his camera every day. He gets to create AND he gets a paycheck and insurance…SCORE for family!

We took a very conscious and cautious break from getting pregnant in order to continue healing and gaining back precious ground that was stolen in our family. It was a good season. In spring of 2010 we started discussing finishing off our family. We’ve always wanted three children and heck…might as well tackle it sooner than later. Well as God’s sense of humor would have it…..the month we started tossing around the idea…..you guessed it….little Rhett was firmly implanted in his little 9 month incubator. I can’t tell you the sheer joy and peace we felt at the timing of this little wonder. After such a season of stress and great grief…this was our season of celebration and joy. The Giver of Life had blessed us yet again. Let me take you on a little belly journey. At 5’2” you can only look not pregnant for so long.

12 week mini bump

13 weeks

16 weeks

18 weeks

19 weeks (Photo by the wonderful Adam Barnes)

24 weeks

28 week (photoshoot by the incredible Sara Ernst )

34 weeks

38.5 weeks- good golly that’s a pale belly. These were with Ryan so we were messing around.

39.5 weeks-drink it in…it is glorious. The day before induction

So if you are still hanging in on this journey then we are getting to the part where I get Rhett OUT of me. This pregnancy was a doozy. I mean puking every day 1st trimester only to be revisited by it again 3rd trimester, a trip to the ER with a kidney stone, and just for kicks and giggles…the last 5 weeks of my pregnancy I had pre-term labor. For those ignorant of that little gem, that means you are contracting daily….so much so I had not one, but TWO false alarms to the hospital because the contractions were 2 mins. apart; an emotional and physical roller coaster. Because I was over 4 cm. dilated and 80% effaced by 39 weeks I was a great candidate to be induced a few days early and not have to sweat it out any longer. I’ve never been induced so I can only tell you my story….and I LOVED IT!

I’ve always been a wait and see kinda girl about labor. I’m not looking to win a trophy by going natural but I also never hopped right on meds either. I was all about going as far as I wanted to naturally and then waving my white flag when I was done “laboring”. With both Chloe and Bennett I got to 7 cm and then threw in the towel. Two great experiences. Being induced I had no idea what to expect. All I knew is I was sick of LABORING for 5 weeks.

I made my decision pretty quickly after I was checked and was already 5cm. when I entered the hospital. I was going to get my pitocin and my epidural at the same time. Everyone who sees my hospital pictures comments about how I am smiling and laughing the whole time. You’re darn skippy I was! I didn’t feel a darn thing. NOT. ONE. CONTRACTION. I had a blast with Ryan, my mom, my friend Amy Martin who came to photograph the birth, and our AWESOME L&D nurse, Amber. It was the party room for sure.

After 4.5 hours I was 10 cm. dilated and ready to push. I could not believe how fast things progressed. We were just minutes away from meeting this precious boy. When I say minutes I mean minutes. I actually crowned on my FIRST push. They literally had to hold him in so the doctor could run down the hall and get in just in time to deliver me.

On my second push I was able to reach down and pull the most perfect baby out and up onto my chest. I am pretty sure I heard trumpets sound and angels applaud. It was the most PEACEFUL, easy labor and delivery. There staring me in the face with his GIGANTIC eyes (all of our babies have huge eyeballs!) was our little Rhett Anderson.

He cried for a few seconds and then he literally smiled at me and showed us who he was. A little messenger of peace. He has the most calm and sweet demeanor. Literally everyone in the room could not get over how alert and placid his disposition was.

8lbs. and 4 oz. of perfect boy.

To truly understand how amazing this experience was…you have to watch this 2-minute video. These photos were taken by our dear friend Amy Martin who came to document the completion of our family. She did an incredible job capturing the mood of the day. Video HERE. All births are miracles. Words fall short to explain the surreal and mind blowing process God carved out for a woman to sustain and deliver life into the world. I am very privileged to do this three times and I will never forget how blessed I am as I have so many friends that struggle greatly with fertility.

So here we are. A family of five figuring things out. We aren’t in any semblance of a rhythm. I am insanely sleep deprived. The older two are driving me nuts with their fighting and whining. But man…what a life we have. Ryan and I marvel at our journey to this point. Where our marriage has dipped and then set back on a high place. We are far from perfect…but we are so aware of all that God has redeemed over the last few years and we sit with grateful hearts in this little cottage we live in.

Rhett is holding steady at 7.5 weeks of barely crying and being the easiest baby in the world to read. I literally forget he is around most of the day because he is so non-demanding of me.

We are blessed. Enjoy a few more photos of his first 7 weeks on this earth starting with his 5 day old photoshoot by Sara Ernst.

one week old

two weeks old

three weeks old

7 weeks old- all smiles and awesomeness

Thanks for reading, thanks for caring.

To God be the Glory.

A fun high heel, a memorabilia reflecting a couple, a killer backdrop, food, furniture, decorations, or even abstract objects. I love seeing what our couples bring to shoots, collaborating on details and putting together backdrops for editorials. I wanted to highlight some of our favorite details, props and accessories of 2010 that brought our shoots character, charm and personality. Enjoy some goodness!

A-I am not the first to make these, nor is this the only way
B-I craft like I cook and sew…..very little measuring or precision….just a “go with the gut and wing it” kinda girl.
C-I welcome all comments on how to do this better for others to learn from
D-This is not rocket science but my tutorial may come across confusing…I’m sorry

With that said….let’s jump in!

Step 1: Gather Tools- (Truly the pen and the straight edge measurer are just for looks for me. I have no intention of using them but if you are anal about measurements…..USE THEM!) I have selective analness…..like my pillows always have to be straight on the couch…..cutting crafting paper in half…I just wing it! HAHA….good start to my tutorial right?

Step 2: Gather Supplies- BIG HUGE IMPORTANT DETAIL….when making the OVERSIZED 12 inch diameter pinwheels you need TWO sheets of the 12 inch scrapbook paper. Buy duplicates or scrapbook packets that have multiples. A package of 12 inch long dowels. A spool of twine. Oversized buttons. These happen to be ones I pressed and cut from polymere clay…but any kind will do. (Yes be impressed by me for a moment) I don’t iron my shirts, but I make my own buttons. I don’t get me either!

Step 3: Cut Strips and Fold Accordion Style- I recommend lining the patterns up on your two sheets of paper and folding or “measuring” them in half and cut in the same direction so your pattern continues end to end to end to end for 48 inches! Stack all 4 strips on top of each other and fold in either a 1/4, 1/2 or 1 inch bend. If you are making multiple pinwheels it looks really cool varying the fold width. (**Note…have glue gun plugged in so it is ready to roll shortly)

Step 4: Staple or use permanent adhesive squares. (Use a discrete amount of staples). Staple all the way around until you make a full circle. The accordion will stand upright like a lampshade. This is where it gets very tricky to lay the paper design side down. You need to “manhandle” it and show it whose boss. I kid you not. That thing will spring up in your face and cause great frustration.

Step 5: Flatten Pinwheel/Insert Dowel- With one hand you need to hold it steady while you get your glue gun ready. The dowel is the KEY to the stability of the pinwheel. One this large does not want to lay flat without the extra support, especially if you are using them outside and wind is involved. You will thank me later!

Step 6: Glue the snot out of it- You will win no prizes for aesthetic reasons on the backside of your pinwheel….but you will have a sturdy pinwheel in the end. If you really want to go the extra step you could cut out a 12 inch wide circle and glue it flat over the back to cover up all the mish mash of adherent.

Step 7: Glue on Button- put a lot of extra glue on the center point under the button as well as on the back of the button and hold firmly for a good 1-2 minutes until glue is absolutely cooled.

Step 8: Hang up and Enjoy- I just hole punched and added twine. I’ve shown you two lovely background choices for mine.

It is really easy to string multiples like we did for the One Little Dove Shoot.

You can also make your large pinwheels have babies very easily.

I ended up cutting mini strips of the same paper I used in the large pinwheels to make varying size “mini’s” for Chloe’s 4th b-day party. Gluing a toothpick as a dowel and an additional toothpick as a poker…they made adorable cupcake toppers!

There is also a beautiful tutorial on Style Me Pretty that you may find useful as well. Similar methods…but some varying steps.

There you have it! Hope that was helpful. I would love to see pictures if you attempt it. Be prepared for a little bit of a learning curve so don’t waste your favorite paper on the first one!

ENJOY!!!

A long legged beauty with dimples, unending imaginary play and deep thoughts has emerged. I wrote a sentimental post last year with lots of pictures of her growing up for anyone wanting to see her transformation from rolly polly Chloe to this brunette stunner.

Instead of lamenting about the past I sit here today with eager anticipation for the future. I can hardly believe the thoughts this child has about the world, God and others. She has a way of articulating her feelings or creating magical worlds of fairies, princesses, and unicorns that astound me. She is both highly literal and yet uber abstract and creative. From sentence to sentence I have no idea what will tumble out of her mouth or what she will plead for me to role play with her.

For anyone who has watched the “Anne of Green Gables” series you would have a good grasp on what Chloe is like. One on one she will talk your ear off and invite you into her world. In a crowd she can be a social coin toss from indifferent to charming. I’m realizing the older she gets the more she is a quality time/one on one child. Crowds overwhelm her fast and cause her to retreat. It’s been an interesting process as a parent to accept each child you are given…quirks and all…and embrace the dynamic they do bring into the family. Chloe and I are quite different. She is so much like Ryan it is scary at times….but man do I love and adore this little wonder. My Chloe, my only girl.

Although Chloe asked for a birthday party that included such things as “purple, pink, glitter, princesses, rainbows, hearts, stars, and unicorns.” I exercised my right as her mom to trump her requests for a party where a craft store exploded all over the walls and decided to revisit my oversized pinwheels I made for the One Little Dove Shoot. I know I have precious few years where I can take the wheel on themes and so I ran with the pinwheel one again.

This time I made miniature pinwheels for the cupcakes to mimic the larger ones on the wall. By far, the mini’s are MUCH more tedious and difficult to make than the large pinwheels. I felt like I was going to have blisters all over my hands from the glue gun for days. They came out adorable even if four year olds can’t come close to appreciating their aesthetic.

My mom played resident nail stylist for all our princesses that arrived at the party.

My niece painted faces.

Chloe waiting patiently for her nails to be done.

Decorating door hangers.

Getting ready for cupcakes and singing.

Ignore my crazy expression.

Presents!

One of her presents for her birthday was a special afternoon out at my friends farm. There are two horses taking up residence there. I figure if I can’t give my daughter her favorite mythical creature of a unicorn, I can certainly let her frolick with some horses! SHE WAS IN HEAVEN!!!! Kid in a candy store.

Can I say that she donated over 12 inches of this amazing hair a few weeks ago to Locks of Love. So proud of her but man do I miss that gorgeous mane!

She felt SOOOO old leading the pony into his stall.

The best!!! Nail polish for horse hooves, hilarious.

Working out in the exercise pen.

My carefree, magical beauty. I can’t wait to see what this year has in store for her.

Scene 3: “The Field”

ADDENDUM since posting: Some of you asked for full lyrics. Here they are. Song written by Dennis Jernigan.

I bless you with joy and peace and love that won’t let go. I bless you with grace and faith and fire in your soul. I bless you with dreams and visions most men don’t know of. i bless you with a deeper knowledge of our Fathers love.
I bless you with strength and power, grace through any trial. I bless you with wisdom and with comfort in your smile. I bless you with great adventures, journeys yet unknown. I bless you with hearts gone wild because you are His own.
I bless you with the heart of a warrior, grace to stand and fight, I bless you with brothers who will stand right by your side. I bless you with courage till the battles have been won, I bless you with the faith to hear your Father say “well done”.

CHORUS:
I bless you with joy and laughter, I bless you with a steadfast faith, I bless you with the hopes and the dreams that your heart goes after, I bless you with amazing grace.

This next one cracks me up….either we are really funny or we were confusing them with directions.

Beatrice was making her presence known.

These girls are amazing at pulling out vulnerable, beautiful looks.

A little out-take. Getting in this position for Lauren was a logistical feat. She had to balance against Kristin’s thigh which Kristin was a little too zealous to lend; tipping her over.

Much better.

Before we end with the adorable watermelon eating I just want to break to our two prop wenches that helped load and unload all over the property for us. These are not flattering shots but alas, we want to give honorable mention.

This is Kristin’s Adam working the pinwheel while frolicking with the horses.

and Lauren’s Adam taking a quick shot for Kristin’s sister.

These watermelon shots absolutely crack me up. The girls were starving by the end as it was a HOT, long five hours from start to finish. They devoured these watermelon slices in seconds.

Le sigh…..

Girls, I have said it a million times but THANK YOU! You exceeded each and every expectation I had for this shoot. We are so proud of the images and we are so pleased that these remind you of the blessing of pregnancy and friendship. We can’t wait to meet Violet and Beatrice in the upcoming months. Blessings!

So for a brief history of this shoot because it really came together in a few weeks….let me share. Ryan and I have known the extremely talented Adam Barnes for many years. Those of you long time fans may have seen the vintage editorial shoot we did of Adam and his wife Lauren about a year and a half ago. There is no denying Lauren’s incredible beauty, poise and style in photos. She was a DREAM to shoot. She took my ideas and RAN with them while purchasing her clothes and accessories….the shoot would not have been half as impactful without her eye for style and her incredible talent at hair and make up. It can also be noted that Lauren has the most beautiful heart too.

Fast forward to the present. Adam has a very talented and very beautiful associate photographer working for him named Kristin. I have gotten to know Kristin over the last year loosely through the internet and because she worked part time at the salon I get my hair done at…score. Talk about another beautiful woman both inside and out. Kristin and Lauren also happen to be great girlfriends AND they are just 5 weeks apart from having their first babies together!

So a similar itch started about a month ago to create a stylized shoot, rich in details, themed, but this time with women. We don’t boast that we are maternity photographers, in fact we tend to shy away from anything family, maternity or baby. But as a woman, mother and now an expectant mother again…..I am in total girl mode. I think I pondered the concept of this shoot for about a minute when Lauren and Kristin popped in to my head. Two great friends, similar stature, naturally photogenic, stylish, and TOTALLY into details……oh yes….this was it! I fired off an email to them both asking if they wanted to do this shoot with Ryan and I for funsies. I explained how I saw three different scenes in my head. One was going to totally be bright, kitchy, summertime…borderline gaudy bathing suit scene. The second scene was going to be more “glam”, an outdoor living room scene with stronger poses…more serious. The last was going to be at sunset…dreamy, soft, lots of back-lighting, sundresses, quilt-on-the-grass sort of deal.

Well they jumped right on board, a flurry of emails ensued, they went shopping, I went collecting props and well…..there you have it. A hot July evening on an abandoned farm, two gorgeous pregnant women, two husbands named Adam that did the heavy lifting, one husband named Ryan that was along for the ride to shoot and execute what was in my brain and one GIDDY Kelly watching it all come together.

Enjoy Scene One….”Summertime”

As far as props for this scene. The lawn chairs are ours. Those amazing pinwheels were a last minute find at Big Lots $7.99 each!! Mini pinwheels and popsicle bubbles are from Joanne Fabrics, straws are my children’s, and little stool is mine. I think I spent about $20 for this simple set up!

So the LIFE game was a little epiphany I had a few days before the shoot racking my brains about how to show they were having girls without all the stereotypical ways. We already owned the game so it was a free addition to the props pile. To my knowledge, I have not seen this before but I do know there is nothing new under the sun….so maybe you have. I don’t really hang out on maternity blogs!

Scene Two…”The Living Room”

Props were scored from two sources. One…Ryan’s full time job as a commercial photographer at Moore and Giles leather. The chairs, the full hide, even the distressed door and mantel are all props from his workplace..MAJOR SCORE! The vintage calendar pillow, some bottles, vases, candlesticks are all from my dear friend Sarah who refurbishes and sells at Solace Restoration. The ladder was found on the property.

Part Two coming soon…..

Both ladies are expecting “pink”! Little Beatrice will be joining Lauren and Adam in September. Little Violet will be joining Kristin and Adam (different Adam..I know it is confusing!) in August.

My friends and renovation specialists at Solace Restoration, loaned me this sign. This is a portion of a song of blessing we sing at our church. Ryan and I sing this song to our kids every night before bed. It is incredible.

Looking back at these last 3 and a half years of children, I see a woman who has grown in so many ways. You took on a challenge that you didn’t know you could pull off. I know you doubt yourself. I know you have fears. I know you feel inadequate, but I want you to know that I could not have hand-picked a better woman to raise our children. God knew what he was doing and I thank Him for you I admire you. I want to be like you. I love you.

Michele and Kenley set the bar high for our 2010 wedding season. What a way to start the season!

Michele was stunning!!! Her skin is like glass.

Ryan said when he popped into Kenley’s room he saw all of this laid out perfectly. I’m not gonna lie, it made me smile. Me likey some anal organizing.

Michele entering the room for their “first look”

Let’s get our pose on….

I know this is similar to the last, but I love them both and couldn’t choose.

We moved inside for a few shots using their fun decor.

Kenley wanted in on the action grabbing his brother’s camera while we were shooting Michele at the bar.
There is Kelley Boykin our lovely assistant and friend who came down from Palm Springs to help us out for the day.

Getting ready for the main event!

The pastor going over his notes.

The beautiful grandparents.

Kenley’s parents

I think Michele’s grandma has one of the sweetest smiles.

The cocktail hour area.

Michele’s father gave a beautiful speech.

and then he serenade the audience with some John Denver tunes!

The man LOVES to sing.

I have to end with this photo because it makes me laugh. Charlie (who is in blue to the right) is the older brother of the subject in the photo. His brother was getting increasingly boisterous on the dance floor and Charlie leaned over to me and said, “You just wait, he’s going to be the guy with the tie around his head before you know it.” About an hour later……

MONEY!!!!! Who’s got two thumbs and wears a tie around his head….that guy! Haha.

Michele and Kenley, it was a killer wedding. You guys were the picture of relaxation and happiness on your wedding day. The venue, the weather, your family….perfection! Thank you for kicking off our wedding season with a bang. We loved Miami and we love you guys!

I have been trying so hard to keep the paci tucked away for as much of the day as possible, but there are some days I can’t bear the whining and the begging. Today was one of those days. Unlike a nice, compassionate mother who would heed to his cry for relief and soothing, I pulled the camera out. Join me on the journey will you?

This is Bennett “Shakespeare” Portnoy, what a looker.

This is Bennett happy, putting out the vibe while organizing his cars. So happy, carefree, what could be wrong?

But wait…Bennett just remembered he hasn’t cried in the last five minutes.

But “Curious George” is on and he would have to break away to do his full on tantrum for his paci. Bennett is rocking his “grouper mouth” as Ryan calls it. I am sure you think we are horrible parents for all our nicknames. We do it behind their backs so it is okay. (wink!)

Yup it is worth missing George, my teeth hurt. “PAHHHHHHCI over dere” ( I would like it to be known he was sitting on my legs and I was laying on my back holding the camera up in the air hoping I was in focus….jackpot!)

“PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!”

“PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!”

“Over DERE!!!!!”

“MAMA (whimpering begins)”

Wait for it

Wait for it

Wait for it

There it is

and here come the real tears

Before you send hate mail, I did put the camera down and give him his paci…but these gems are priceless to look back on! I mean if you knew how many times a day this little routine played out you would actually feel sorry for me.

On a lighter note I do think I should get an award for creating the most ghetto craft ever! Chloe asked if she could be a unicorn like her favorite stuffed animal. Unicorn…right….okay…..construction paper, tape, scissors, how hard can it be?

Kids will wear ANYTHING!!! I could not stop laughing at them and they loved it! I would also like you to know that the elastic on their heads was cut from the fetal monitor straps I kept after labor thinking “This is good elastic, I should keep this.” I consider it tipping my hat to the earth today and living green. HAHA…man I am the farthest thing from green but I did laugh at my “recycling” today.

At least one kid was in a good mood today.

What a goob…love her!

There you go…that is the art of crying by Bennett! Hope you enjoyed spending the morning with us. If you see Bennett sitting on the curb with a bow on his head, now you know what you are getting in to!